Shock
by GGabz
Summary: Ronnie explains her feelings, and the story continues. Please read, I know it's an awful summary, but you know...
1. Chapter 1

**Hardly anyone is reading my other fic 'Ronnie Knows' So this could either be a one shot or carried on. Please give me your views.**

Everything comes down to money right? All you want is someone to be happy, yet you need the money to do it. Even if it's someone, that I don't want to say it really, it's too hard admitting it, I love. With all my heart. I can see him in hospital, hating every single moment of it. He's in so much pain; there's nothing I can do to help him. The one thing I can do is make sure Jack can go into private care, where they actually care about their patients. But I can't do that because I don't have the money, as I put all my money on the line for a two faced bitch of a cousin who doesn't think about where money comes from, and it all got lost. All that hard earnings, gone, in a matter of months. I was planning on spending it when I'm older. Okay, that was the second plan, the first plan was to find my daughter. But she's gone, for the third and final time. She went out of my arms when I was fourteen, then my dad had told me she had died, then she came back to me. I treated her so cruelly because I was jealous of how innocent she was, how happy she was. I was in spite of her, because she looked so much like my daughter. Little did I know she actually was. I still question myself, everyday. Why did I not tell before. I had seven months with her. The day she told me, was the day she taken away from me, for the third and final time. It's weird how everything comes in threes.

We could of done so much with that money, I could've spent it on whatever Danielle had wanted. We could of moved the Ibiza, I dreamed up so many different possibilities during those long nineteen years apart. Those dreams had been shattered, by something as simple as words spoken from a father, then something as simple as a car. When she was gone, I decided the money was going to be spent on me, when I'm older. The money could have been spent on dreams that I wanted. Although every single one would remind me of the daughter I lost on every occasion. I would love her to be happy for me, tell me it was the right thing. She's my guardian angel, up there in the sky. Ever night I look up, wish something, tell her about my day, knowing that she would probably already know. Then again, she's with her adoptive mum now. And Happy all the same. But family comes first. Those dreams were again shattered by my family. It wasn't like I had any choice really. I thought I was doing the right thing by Auntie Peggy and Sam. But it's now completely gone. Now I wish I had that money, to make Jack a little happier. It's so hard, to watch him everyday, unable to get out of his bed. Admittedly, it was harder when he was in a coma, but now he can talk, and bless him wants to be involved in the club. Even the club has ran out of money. I can't quite believe it. Everything has just gone. I'm sure it's the recessions' fault.

I think my daughter would be happy that I am talking to Jack, at least. I hope she is. With all my heart. Danielle was a kind person, something that I had had in me before she was taken away, and it has always been a part of me but just very deep down. Even now, it's hard to get across. I always wonder what Danielle would have been like if she had been brought up by me. But now, with Jack, I am looking towards the future, I have to do the right thing by Jack, he's the closest thing I have to happiness, now Danielle's gone. I couldn't control it. My own daughter, dead. And yes, before you ask, I blame myself. Totally. I waited, and waited. I was lied to by my own father, and once more, I believed him. I believe him over my own flesh and blood. I was taken in by his manipulations. I was wrong to do so, and have made sure ever since that he would never do that again. In Danielle's honour. If I hadn't of said 'Baby' to my own daughter, she might still be alive. So yes, I do blame myself. Wouldn't you?

I wasn't surprised when Dad gave all his money to Roxy. I wasn't surprised at all. I'm sure Rox has a bit of her dad in herself, although she wouldn't admit it. Actually I think she would. She doesn't like giving her money away. And yes, I totally understand it's for Amy. But my Amy's gone. Amy's Dad needs the money. Even though I hate the fact that Jack is Amy's father. I have to accept this. I have no choice. But Roxy could at least spend some of the three million on Amy's father, even if she couldn't give any to me. She hardly ever goes to the hospital. She's too busy with our younger brother. Danny. Something is wrong with him, I can't say that to my sister though, I'm trying to built a relationship with her again, after everything that's happened. But I'm afraid he'll ruin it, and take all the money with him.

I look towards the window, and there's a figure, just a flash. She was blonde. I could've sworn it was my daughter. Nowadays I'm always seeing things, just tiny bit's a bobs. I go and grab Digby, Danielle's toy and hug it, trying to find the smell of her scent. Everyone has a unique scent, I rarely got to smell my daughters, and if I did, it was unknown to me that she was my daughter, so I never paid attention. I wish I had done now. Maybe Danielle is trying to tell me something. There is always the tiniest bit of hope inside me, that maybe she still is alive, wanting me to move on with my life, because I wasn't good enough for her. I can totally accept this fate, I try to accept she's gone, but it fails me.

With Jack being at the hospital, I think about what would of happened if Danielle would of survived. Maybe I am trying to help Jack because I couldn't help my daughter. Both had head trauma's. But Jack will survive, and my daughter didn't. Jack was lucky. Why couldn't of my daughter be lucky? The one bit of happiness, that two hours shared between Danielle and I when I was fourteen, and then me holding her in my arms. Slowly passing away. Why couldn't I see her again? Say Sorry to her, for all the times in between. When I didn't know who she was. When I was in awe of her. I have to look to the future, not the past.

A knock on the door, I turn to the clock, it has a picture of Danielle on the top, the one that she took on her phone, that she gave to Peggy and Archie for their wedding present. Thinking that she would be invited. Unknown to my dad's deceiving ways. It says 3:00am, I rarely get any sleep nowadays. Jack needs me. I ignore it, thinking it will probably be some yobs who are drunk and want the club open.

The door knocks again, and I hesitate. Should I answer it? It probably won't be anything important, but someone wants me. I've got hear them out right? I see a silhouette, it's small, but you can tell the hair is in a bob, automatically telling me it's a women to answer the door. I try and work out who is it at the door. It can't be Roxy, she has long hair. Or Tanya, it's not like she would contact me anyway. She must hate me after the whole Jack thing. Plus she's not even in the square at the moment, she couldn't believe Max after his money scandals. Can't be Jane, I don't really know her. I don't really know anyone in Walford. Maybe it's Whitney, but then her hair is quite long, and well. I don't think she would ever talk to me. I'm not exactly the nicest person in the world. Look at the way I treated my own daughter. Seven months she lived here, and she didn't even had the courage to tell me who she was. Then again, I should of guessed. My mind focuses on the door handle, as my head snaps back into reality. I can't continue daydreaming. Danielle daydreamed a lot about me on the stall, said Stacey when everything happened. It's one of the only time's I've really ever talked to Stacey, just before her illness came out. Ronnie stop, I think to myself, You need to open this door, some sleep wouldn't go a miss either. I open the door, and my mouth goes into an 'O' shape…

**So come on? Who do you think it is? It may seem easy, but I'm totally interested to hear views. Should I continue with this? Please review! Thank you.**


	2. Chapter 2

'What, no way,' I stammered, trying to work out whether this is real or I'm just dreaming. I couldn't bring myself to do anything except just look into the eyes of the woman at the door. I wasn't concentrating on whether she wanted to talk or to come in. I suppose you could say I wasn't the greatest host at that moment. That moment in time, I just wanted to pinch myself, but I couldn't even move my hand onto my arms. They were still, completely and utterly. Mind you I didn't want to move, I didn't want to snap back into reality, in case I lost the image that is straight in front of me.

She smiled at me, oh how I remember that smile. It was so beautiful, and it showed how happy she was. Except this smile wasn't one of her genuine ones. It was more of a 'smile because you have to'. I wish that people didn't do that smile, it made me feel so uncomfortable. But then again I'm being a hypocrite because I do that smile to just about anyone and everyone. It just didn't make sense. She is here, but I thought. Oh for now it doesn't matter what I thought. It's three am, and she must be so bloody cold. What was I thinking? Leaving her outside! God I am so stupid. I gestured for her to come in, but I don't think she quite understood me because she still stood there, not moving. She was no longer smiling. It was scaring me. It was then that I took a closer look at someone I had not seen in a very long time.

She had bruises all over her face, but they didn't look fresh. If only a few days old. My heart sank, what had happened to her? Her blonde hair was matted and dirty, like it hadn't been washed in weeks. It was like the living had decided to take revenge, and on someone who hadn't done anything wrong in the world. My mind went into questions, who had done this to her? And I suppose the most dubious question of all; why was she here? I then noticed the clothes, they were really tattered, and full of rips. God, she looked such a fragile figure. Her jeans looked coated in blood. The thing that scared me most of all though, was her figure. She was tiny when I last saw her, but now, you would ask yourself whether she had an eating disorder, or you would ask whether she had lived in Africa. I just didn't know what to say, I didn't know what to think. She was there, someone I had wanted for such a long time. But now, it was such a sad occasion as to why I had seen her it was all confusing me. Everything was happening so fast.

She obviously had realised that I had just seen the state she was in, and she tried to leave the doorstep. I grabbed onto her wrist, desperate to make sure she didn't leave. If this was a dream, I wanted it to be done my way, after all, it would be my dream. However, if this was reality, and in my heart I would just love it to be so, I need to ask her questions. I need to know for me. She can't leave again, I won't let it ever happen again. I needed to be able to look after her, I couldn't leave her. Not any more. I just wanted to hold her, like there was no tomorrow, but even I knew that I was being stupid thinking of that. I could possibly kill her because she was that fragile.

'Please, don't go,' I whispered, in the hope she would hear me. I realised all it had been was small talk, and quite a lot of staring. It was a very awkward situation. I really wanted to think in her shoes, but I didn't know what she had been through, and I knew it wouldn't be fair for me to just assume the obvious, or making up scenarios myself, that wouldn't be right. I wasn't going to do that anymore, because it creates hopes and dreams, and well they always seem to never come true, therefore why should I even spend the time thinking of them? She turned around and just looked at me, her facial expression stayed motionless, there was a lack of the personality that I used to know. I was scared, I cared so much about her - she just looked like she didn't know me. But she did, I knew she did. She knew she did, but there was just no emotion. She wasn't the same person.

I remember her vividly, she was so happy, always making sure the job was done. I never really noticed her, I didn't want to know her. She reminded me of my daughter, the person I was trying to forget, she was the same age as her. Oh god looking at her now, what had I done? But more than anything, how on earth did she survive? I realised that she needed to come in, maybe she wanted to explain? But I needed to give her clothes, food and somewhere to stay. The least I could do was that. So I walked into my flat and beckoned her in, this time thankfully she followed me. I closed the door and just looked at her. There were no words needed. My Daughter was standing right in front of me, and I thought she had died a year ago.

**Many of you guessed right! Wooooo. What has happened to her? Review and you could find out! Sorry it's smaller than the last chapter, it was really difficult for me to write! x**


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